Though the holidays can be the most refreshing part of the year, they can also bring unexpected grief for our companion animals, says Sarah Bernardi, a veterinary social worker at the University of Guelph.
"Holidays often bring up nostalgia and reflection, which can heighten awareness of loved ones, human or animal, who are no longer present," says Bernardi. "It's not uncommon to dread the firsts' - especially the first holidays without them."
Sarah Bernardi, OVC veterinary social worker
Bernardi offers veterinary social work - support made for the human-animal bond - at the Ontario Veterinary College (OVC), helping individuals and families through difficult decisions and events.
She adds that extra time spent at home during the holidays can cause owners to become more aware of their pets' health.
"During the holiday season, families often notice changes in their pet's behaviour, health or mobility that might otherwise go unnoticed amidst the usual busyness of daily life," she says. "Difficult decisions like euthanasia can become more likely and can prompt difficult conversations."
On top of the complexities of grief, guilt is also common during the holidays, says Bernardi.
"People might believe enjoying the holidays after losing a pet diminishes the significance of their loss or betrays the bond they had," she says. "But it's important to remember that experiencing joy does not lessen the love of a beloved pet."
There are many strategies to work through these feelings, she says, including self-compassion, allowing yourself to express your emotions and sharing them with others. The holidays can also be a good time to start new traditions.
"You might hang a stocking for them, craft a special ornament, light a candle or include their favourite treats in your celebrations," Bernardi says. "Starting new traditions can help you feel that much more connected to them. There's no right or wrong way to remember them - choose what feels most meaningful."
For those who want to support their friends and family grieving a loss, Bernardi says to avoid minimizing their pain with phrases like, "It was just a pet."
"Instead, acknowledge their loss with compassion, perhaps by sending a thoughtful card or note that recognizes the special bond they shared."
